Know the Signs
About a month ago, an e-mail went out, asking for some ideas
for the Burning Man greeting signs ÷ you know, the signs that are posted as you
drive into Black Rock City, many of which say things such as "SLOW DOWN ÷
5 MPH" and "DUST." Apparently, some of the Burning Man people
wanted a few signs that were funny or surreal. So Mark Casino and Dr. Cliff
Davis of www.cardhouse.com got right on it, although not many ÷ if any ÷ of
their sign ideas were used. The following is a list of their rejected Burning
High entry fee
meeting that you cannot miss
Burning Man is like
Disneyland, except there are more rules
THIS SIGN IS ON DRUGS. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN PAINTED WEIRD, BUT
THE SIGN PAINTER WAS ALSO ON DRUGS, SO THEY CANCELLED EACH OTHER
THERE WILL BE NONE OF THAT
WARNING: HIPPIES AHEAD
PLEASE HAVE MONEY READY
BEAUTY TIP: YOU CAN MASK THE HORRID SMELL OF Patchouli BY NOT SHOWERING FOR A FEW
Y2K IS FOUR MONTHS AWAY AND YOU'RE NAKED IN THE DESERT.
SMASH THE PATRIARCHY
YOUR campsite is 75
EXACT CHANGE ONLY
TIMOTHY LEARY IS GLAD HE'S DEAD, thanks to your naked ass
CAUTION: MORE PIGS THAN LAST YEAR
I HEAR MANSON'S HERE AGAIN THIS YEAR
AS SEEN ON TV
WELCOME TO BURNING MAN â99. NOW GO HOME.
SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS INSTALLED FOR YOUR PROTECTION
SEE ATTENDANT FOR RESTROOM TOKEN
IF GOD HAD WANTED US TO BE NAKED, HE WOULDN'T HAVE LET US
STRIP STEAKS $5.99 AT THE NUGGET! LOOSEST SLOTS IN THE
FUCKING KNOWN UNIVERSE!
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, PLEASE STOP SAYING
WEEOOOH! THANK GOD YOU GOT THAT S.U.V., HUH?
WHEN I HEAR THE WORDS "TEMPORARY AUTONOMOUS ZONE,"
I REACH FOR MY POCKETBOOKFUCK IT, LET'S ALL JUST STORM RENO
DID YOU BRING ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE?
WE DON'T HAVE ANY MORE "OLD MEN FILMING NAKED SHOWER
BABES" PASSES TODAY
I SHOULD HAVE WENT TO JAPAN INSTEAD
EVERYONE ENJOYS LOOKING AT YOUR NAKED BODY. SERIOUSLY ... EVERYONE.
DO IT FOR AMERICA
THERE IS SEX TO BE HAD IN THE DESERT. CAUTION: SOME OF IT IS
BURNING MAN WAS MUCH BETTER LAST YEAR
LOCK-DOWN 10 PM SHARP
THIS IS THE APEX OF CAPITALISM. EAT IT UP.
DID YOU REMEMBER TO BRING: WATER?
PLEASE HAVE YOUR TICKET READY, OR MAYBE ONE OF OUR SPUNKY
GREETERS CAN TRY TO FISH IT OUT OF YOUR PANTS
THE OFFICE CALLED, THEY SAID YOU'RE FIRED. I HOPE THAT'S
BLACK ROCK SANITATION: "YEAH YEAH, KEEP YOUR PANTS ON,
-- Ted Casino and Dr. Cliff Davis of www.cardhouse.com