|
Know the Signs About a month ago, an e-mail went out, asking for some ideas for the Burning Man greeting signs ÷ you know, the signs that are posted as you drive into Black Rock City, many of which say things such as "SLOW DOWN ÷ 5 MPH" and "DUST." Apparently, some of the Burning Man people wanted a few signs that were funny or surreal. So Mark Casino and Dr. Cliff Davis of www.cardhouse.com got right on it, although not many ÷ if any ÷ of their sign ideas were used. The following is a list of their rejected Burning Man signs. High entry fee Rigid, secretive hiERarchy "Life transformation" claims Once-a-year important meeting that you cannot miss "Tell your friends!" Burning Man is like Disneyland, except there are more rules THIS SIGN IS ON DRUGS. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN PAINTED WEIRD, BUT THE SIGN PAINTER WAS ALSO ON DRUGS, SO THEY CANCELLED EACH OTHER OUT. THERE WILL BE NONE OF THAT WARNING: HIPPIES AHEAD PLEASE HAVE MONEY READY BEAUTY TIP: YOU CAN MASK THE HORRID SMELL OF Patchouli BY NOT SHOWERING FOR A FEW DAYS Y2K IS FOUR MONTHS AWAY AND YOU'RE NAKED IN THE DESERT. SMART. SMASH THE PATRIARCHY YOUR campsite is 75 mi. SOUTH. EXACT CHANGE ONLY TIMOTHY LEARY IS GLAD HE'S DEAD, thanks to your naked ass CAUTION: MORE PIGS THAN LAST YEAR I HEAR MANSON'S HERE AGAIN THIS YEAR AS SEEN ON TV WELCOME TO BURNING MAN â99. NOW GO HOME. SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS INSTALLED FOR YOUR PROTECTION SEE ATTENDANT FOR RESTROOM TOKEN IF GOD HAD WANTED US TO BE NAKED, HE WOULDN'T HAVE LET US INVENT CLOTHES STRIP STEAKS $5.99 AT THE NUGGET! LOOSEST SLOTS IN THE FUCKING KNOWN UNIVERSE! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, PLEASE STOP SAYING "RADICAL SELF-EXPRESSION" WEEOOOH! THANK GOD YOU GOT THAT S.U.V., HUH? WHEN I HEAR THE WORDS "TEMPORARY AUTONOMOUS ZONE," I REACH FOR MY POCKETBOOKFUCK IT, LET'S ALL JUST STORM RENO DID YOU BRING ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE? WE DON'T HAVE ANY MORE "OLD MEN FILMING NAKED SHOWER BABES" PASSES TODAY I SHOULD HAVE WENT TO JAPAN INSTEAD EVERYONE ENJOYS LOOKING AT YOUR NAKED BODY. SERIOUSLY ... EVERYONE. FUCK RENT DO IT FOR AMERICA THERE IS SEX TO BE HAD IN THE DESERT. CAUTION: SOME OF IT IS BAD SEX. BURNING MAN WAS MUCH BETTER LAST YEAR LOCK-DOWN 10 PM SHARP THIS IS THE APEX OF CAPITALISM. EAT IT UP. DID YOU REMEMBER TO BRING: WATER? PLEASE HAVE YOUR TICKET READY, OR MAYBE ONE OF OUR SPUNKY GREETERS CAN TRY TO FISH IT OUT OF YOUR PANTS THE OFFICE CALLED, THEY SAID YOU'RE FIRED. I HOPE THAT'S OKAY. BLACK ROCK SANITATION: "YEAH YEAH, KEEP YOUR PANTS ON, WE'RE COMING" -- Ted Casino and Dr. Cliff Davis of www.cardhouse.com |
|
 |
|
 |
 |
|
