Tips for long distance travel from Burning Man
by Gavin Heck
Caffeine/ephedrine/whatever are not substitutes for sleep.
If you start hallucinating from lack of sleep, pull over, soon.
Have your valid license, valid registration, and valid
insurance handy, in case you get pulled over.
Be sure to pack the more bizarre/conspicuous things on the
bottom, just in case you do get
When/if you get pulled over, don't say that you went to
Burning Man. Say instead that you simply "went camping with some
friends." (Okay, 20,000 friends.)
Be polite, say "Yes sir" and "No sir,"
and look them in the eyes. (But don't stare like Charles Manson.) They can
sense fear like animals.
Try to dress as inconspicuously as possible.
Most states have gas stations every 50-100 miles, except for
Avoid stopping in Wyoming. Driving through, we just got a
really, really bad feeling there. It
made Utah seem liberal. Of course, the Matthew Shepard killing kind of cinches
it. In my limited experience of dealing with people in Wyoming, they really
don't seem to like anybody "different." Besides, "They Shoot Horses,
about Wyoming: We got stopped there by a pig after being followed for about
twenty miles. Something about "van came up registered as a truck."
(Yeah, right.) Somehow, my travelling companion ended up telling the cop about
Burning Man, and how we had driven this van full of five virtual strangers
across the country and we were heading back. After the nice officer finished
grilling him, I was up.
question of the moment was, "How can I be sure that there are no drugs in
"I think we did them all out there, sir."
He let us go.