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Ways To Fuck Your Life Up At Burning Man

Don't drink lots of water.

Don't wear SPF 30.

Driving over 5 mph.

Wear a Star Trek costume.

Lick flaming objects.

Sing Britney Spears songs.

Ask for camp placement on the Esplanade.

Assume she's a he.

Assume he's a she.

Install a cell phone site.

Fight in the Thunderdome.

Graffiti your "tag" everywhere.

Drill for oil.

Ask "Just who's in charge, here?"

Tease Dr. Megavolt .

Step on rebar and then try to pretend it's a stigmata costume.

Put liquid latex on any unshaved area of your body.

Ask Larry Harvey to autograph your bible.

Ask Media Mecca where the best-looking nekkid chicks can be found

Strip naked, adorn your pubic region with paint and feathers, hoist a large bong high into air, frolic with an army of nude weedheads in front of a phalanx of photographers, then attempt to run for Senate.

Spend the week hidden in your RV.

Forget your sleep.

Forget your shoes when you visit the porta-potties.

Wander away from your camp at night by yourself while high on hallucinogens.

Get really, really drunk. Pass out in the sun.

Run up on the Man's steps right as they set him on fire.

Run up to one of the Washoe County cops and pull out something that looks like a gun.


Shoot flares at passing helicopters.

list compiled by Penfold, Lenny Jones, Dennis Hinkamp, Tokyo Rico, Playa Kitten

2002 Piss Clear
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