Too many idiots this year
all, I just want to say that Iām having a ton of fun at Burning Man this year ÷
although that probably has more to do with the people that Iām around than with
the actual ćBurning Man Experience,ä because there are also quite a few things
that are not going over so well. This is just something one needs to expect
when thereās any sort of crowd, especially one thatās 28,000 people strong.
And that in
itself is most likely the biggest problem of Burning Man. Too many people. Not
enough... hmmm... life? Juice? Ah, whatever ÷ there just aināt enough of it
drunken idiots. Actually, they donāt even have to be drunk, or stoned, or
whatever the hell theyāre on. Letās just say too many idiots.
thatās making it more dramatic than it really is. The real problem is that
there are just too many normal people. Of the 28,000 people here this year, I
really doubt that any more than 4000 of them are doing anything interesting.
And most of what these people are doing isnāt very exciting anyway.
themselves blue. Wearing a funny hat. Whooee. Partee. And worse yet: ćLetās get
together with mummy and daddyās money and build a big, loud rave camp. Everyone
will hear how cool we are and flock to us like little moths! Word, bro!ä
weāre pitched in the middle of nowhere between two rave camps. I donāt know if
theyāre having a contest to see whoās the loudest, but Iād have to call it a
tie. And the big deal is, I aināt a ćMr. Grumpy, rain-on-your-paradeä-kind of
dude. If people are actually having fun, I might not join in, but I can respect
that folks want to get down and funky at Burning Man, even if that aināt my
thing is, neither of these camps attract any more than, say 50 people, tops.
And 90 percent of the time ÷ yeah, at night ÷ there isnāt anyone there besides
the camp occupants, standing around looking at each other, wondering if they
should be the first to abandon their camp and look for something more fun to
the music continues on, despite the fact that there might be only one dude in
ever tried to sleep next to a rave camp? Itās hard. You wake up again and again
because, for chrissakes, it keeps pounding. Earplugs are useless. This shit
vibrates. You flutter your eyelids in disbelief, wondering what the hell time
it is and then realize ÷ the sun is fucking up. And theyāre still playing that
Are they human?
Do they sleep at all? Or have they fled the scene entirely?
Running away in
the middle of the night, letting the music blast away. A lone beacon in the
desert ÷ a monument to how cool they are. Hell, who knows how much these fools
spent on their awfully creative camp? Iām guessing over five grand. Big ass
truck, custom geo-dome, wacky lights, not to mention the sound system. Five
lawyers, frat boys, sorority girls, and corporate fuckheads trying to pass
themselves off as progressive hipsters for some evil or sad reason. Normal
people who just want to go out to the desert and look at all the crazy people,
even though they seem to be a dying breed, much like an endangered species,
really ÷ leeching off their creativity and energy, just so they can go back and
create a hip marketing scheme that will really impress the youth generation.
ćYou need to buy a big, fat SUV so you can go to a cool place like Burning Man,
where cool people, like me, go. I was there, man, itās like Woodstock ā99, but
cooler. I think I saw the Backstreet Boys there, didnāt you? They were doing
the hula with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. That was really cool.ä