George W.'s girls are gonna be here for the booze, drugs, and tawdry sex.
Gigsville will borg-like assimilate the camps formerly affiliated with the Blue Light District.
Gigsville's "Fuck Off Ranger" cards were printed with LSD dosed ink.
Jeff Bezos tossed the bikes into Gigsville's Car-Be-Que.
Jim Thomas quit the Mermen in the middle of the week over "musical differences." They will be replacing him with the violinist from Beyond Race. The pre-Burn performance will proceed as planned, except they will add some Idiot Flesh covers.
John Law has returned to a supervisory role in the Burning Man organization. He will be heading up the super-elite commando wing of the Black Rock Rangers, known as the Black Berets. Word is they will be even more fully armed than in 1996. Their motto is "Take back Burning Man" and we're pretty sure that has absolutely nothing to do with the increased police presence seen in recent years. Also, he has presided over a cash infusion to the DPW so that "more public pyrotechnics" can be installed throughout the city. Tread lightly, folks - you never know when those suckers are going to go off.
Larry secretly works for the BLM
Last year's Black Rock Gazette Playa Iron Chef contest was rigged.
Real human liver will be served at the Donner Tea Party with fava beans and some nice Chianti.
Sister Dan Van Iquity is a guy.
We heard that NASA is investigating whether the Black Rock Desert can be used to land space shuttles. A test landing had been scheduled for this week necessitating the cancellation of Burning Man but fortunately BLM interceded on our behalf and convinced them to move it. Last we heard, the landing had been rescheduled for the following week so those of you who stick around after Sunday morning might want to check it out. We're sure you can find something to do.
- Complied by Penfold, Rev. Blind Toaster and Dr. Lizard