Last Timers' Guide to Burning Man
'Damn! The that thing starts tomorrow? I better start packing.' If this was you, maybe it's time to stop coming to Burning Man -- but not before you spawn upstream one more time like a battle-scarred salmon, shoot your wad, rot, and die. How do you know this should be your last time?
- You now place your camp so far away from the noise that you're no longer actually in the state of Nevada.
- You've stopped posting photos of Burning Man to your website.
- You sleep through the Burn.
- You tell the Greeters to fuck off when they say, 'Welcome home.'
- You start heckling naked people.
- You've worn the same costume five years in a row.
- You've gone from tents to domes to a big-ass RV ... but you'd be just a little more comfortable in a double-wide.
- Larry is starting to look more like the Marlboro Man to you.
- You keep asking BMorg to change the dates to a cooler time of year.
- You actually start to check if some of the shit you've been doing is covered by your HMO.
- Rev. Blind Toaster