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Last Timers' Guide to Burning Man
'Damn! The that thing starts tomorrow? I better start packing.' If this was you, maybe it's time to stop coming to Burning Man -- but not before you spawn upstream one more time like a battle-scarred salmon, shoot your wad, rot, and die. How do you know this should be your last time?

  • You now place your camp so far away from the noise that you're no longer actually in the state of Nevada.
  • You've stopped posting photos of Burning Man to your website.
  • You sleep through the Burn.
  • You tell the Greeters to fuck off when they say, 'Welcome home.'
  • You start heckling naked people.
  • You've worn the same costume five years in a row.
  • You've gone from tents to domes to a big-ass RV ... but you'd be just a little more comfortable in a double-wide.
  • Larry is starting to look more like the Marlboro Man to you.
  • You keep asking BMorg to change the dates to a cooler time of year.
  • You actually start to check if some of the shit you've been doing is covered by your HMO.

- Rev. Blind Toaster

2002 Piss Clear
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