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Leave the fucking videocams at home!
by Rev. Blind Toaster

Buying a video camera doesn't make you a filmmaker any more than shaving your pubic hair makes your dick look bigger. Believe me, it doesn't work. I tried and all I got was razor rash and a clogged shower drain. Similarly, waving your mini-DV around does not make you as big as Ken Burns.

Every year, about 500 people try to register their videocameras for commercial use, and most of them say they are making a "documentary." Add to that the 1000 or more who register videocameras for personal use, and another 2000 still cameras, and a couple dozen pin-heads who try to hide those X-10 cameras everywhere, and eventually you have everybody filming everybody else. Why doesn't everyone just carry around mirrors and point them at each other? You'll get the same effect.

What are you going to record on film that hasn't already been seen on a billion Burning Man web sites already? Take that camera back to Circuit City or Good Guys and buy something that will actually force you to participate in Burning Man, rather than making another hopeless bid for mad props at Sundance.

2002 Piss Clear
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