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Bitter Love 1997
Sex advice from Dan Bitter

Hey Breeder!

My friend Alice told me you can use playa dust as a contraceptive, but she didn't tell me whether you're supposed to apply it or ingest it. Have you heard of this? And how much should I use?

Unsure

Hey U:

You stupid girl. If you really want to make a contraceptive out of playa dust, mix three parts dust with one part water and then dam yourself up. Neither Piss Clear nor myself will be responsible for ensuing bodily injury.

Hey Breeder!

I think Burning Man is hotter than Brad Pitt. Can I have sex with him before he burns?

Burning For The Man

Hey BFTM:

I was as surprised as the rest of you when I went last June to the Mysteria Burning Man benefit at the SOMAR Gallery in San Francisco, to discover that the project organizers had given ol' BM a big hard prick. I've always opined that even though the structure is called Burning Man, it's pretty much understood to be non-gender-specific. Or at least it used to be. Now he's got a dick and he's gonna use it, in a grand, twisted fertility ritual that, on the surface, seems to empower women, but really only empowers heterosexual women who want to get knocked up.

Anyway, to answer your question, probably not, unless your desired receiving orifice is very, very flexible. And you never even said whether you were a boy or a girl.

There are many people and things you can have sex with before the Man burns, but he isn't one of them. I do believe, however, that you can have sex with what's left of him the next morning, if that's your thing. Good luck.

Confidential to L. Harvey:

Keep it in your pants, I'm straight, remember?

Got a question for Dan Bitter? Keep it to yourself, asshole.



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