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Playa Lingo 1999
by Bryan Finch and Penfold

Accidental Fag
A straight guy who is attracted to someone who he thinks is a woman, but is not... quite...
Yeah, that guy was really hot for the editor of Piss Clear, but it turns out he was just being an accidental fag.

Any form-, rule-, or guideline-obsessed Burning Man "official".
I hear that the organizers used to have much more fun out here, before they all had to become burnocrats.

Darwin's Bastards
Idiots that would die out on the playa, if not for the fine work of the Black Rock Rangers and the Washoe County Sheriff, but instead are allowed to pollute the gene pool of Black Rock City.
Every year, there seem to be more and more of Darwin's bastards coming out to Burning Man.

People who constantly try to wipe the dust off their new tech vests bought at Old Navy or The Gap ten minutes before they headed out to the Black Rock Desert.
If a big storm kicks up, those dusters will be the first ones to flee.

Fresh Meat
Any unattented dog or child.Ź
Look at all that fresh meat! Now where the fuck did I put my barbeque sauce!

Apparitions that emerge from their air-conditioned RV's only after the outside temperature dips below 85 degrees.
They say they're 20,000 people out here, but I swear, half of them must be ghosts.

Khaki Motherfucker
An overly authoritative Black Rock Ranger.
I'd have finished my art installation a lot sooner if I hadn't been interupted every ten minutes by those khaki motherfuckers checking to see if my artwork was 'official' and up to code.

Plastic Buddy
A stinky plastic bag of garbage that ends up sitting next to you as drive off the playa on your way home.
If we had learned to pack our food more efficiently before we came out here, we wouldn't be stuck driving home with all these plastic buddies.

Playa bike
The preferred mode of travel at Burning Man.

Playa hair
Wind + dust + sweat + mud - bath = playa hair.

Playa platforms
The muddy, clompy footwear worn by Burners following rain.

Playa rot
That weird chemical burn on the hands that one can sometimes get from alkaline mud.

Playa time
A strange time zone that usually lags a good 2 to 3 hours behind regular time. Similar to drag time. Oh, that eventās gonna start at 10 p.m., playa time.

Playa chicken
An elusive, purported to be apocryphal animal, in the same genus and species as the Jackalope and Chupacabra.

Playa nose
A nasal condition (clogs or nosebleeds) caused by playa dust, combined with the altitude, high temperature, and lack of humidity.

Playa droppings
The clumps of playa mud left on Highway 447 as one leaves Burning Man

Playa dust
The fine dust thatās gets in and on everything ÷ and it doesnāt go away!

Playa Postman
Black Rock City residents Penfold and his wife Dena, who provide off-playa mail delivery to Gerlach, with mail inked with a commemorative stamp made specially for each year.

Playa punch
A ginger brew martini.

Playa brain
The condition you experience upon arriving on the playa, when you canāt remember where you put things you laid down five minutes ago.

Playa rules
When everything they told you on the ticket or on the e-mail list or in the Survival Guide or at the Ranger Station becomes null and void.

First arrival on the playa of the Black Rock Desert

Playa metabolism
Pissing clear, going to bed at 10 a.m., getting up at 4 p.m., and being active all night.

Playa boogers
Yes, that super-dry desert air does wonders for the size and crustiness of boogers.

Playa fever
That obsessive need to attend Burning Man every single year.

Playa bull
The great bullshit stories people tell in and about Black Rock City.

Pledge Break
Getting sucked into working for someone in the name of community effort.
We were almost off the playa, when we had to make one last pledge break to hlep push start some guy's 35-year old VW bus.

Pork Chopper
That damn Washoe County Sheriff Department helicopter that keeps buzzing around Black Rock City.

Women turned horny by the spectacle of the Burning Man.
With so many women wet-by-fire out here, even ugly people can score!

Burning Man attendees, usually second year, that treat the festival as a new religion, rather than a mock religion.
Those fucking zealots, they call that an opera?

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