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Playa lingo - 2000

Air Walking
The ability to simultaneously detect and hover in mid-air above any trip hazard.
I never get scraped up by rebar stakes, because of my innate ability to go air walking.

Black Holes
The dark spots that mysteriously appear on the playa after dark.
Why don't they put some damn porta-potties out on the playa? Maybe then there wouldn't be some many black holes the next morning!

Boring Man
a) derogatory term for Burning Man; b) common exclamation spoken at half-assed theme camps; c) a guy who goes to Burning Man only to try to get laid
This year, I figured, fuck, if they're not going to let me bring my guns and my dog, then I'm not even going to bother to go to Boring Man.

The line to the porta-potties.
Ah yes, a quick visit to civilization is as fine a time as any to read the latest issue of Piss Clear.

Desert Dyke
Any normally heterosexual woman who, when in Black Rock City, allows herself to experiment with other women.
Dude, I don't know if it was the Ecstacy or what, but last night at Bianca's Smut Shack, my girlfriend totally turned into a desert dyke! It was hot!

Extreme Freestyle Napping
Like a power nap, this feat can only be achieved by truly exhausted and resourceful people.
After being up all night, around three or four in the afternoon is the best time to do extreme freestyle napping, before starting all over again.

Filthy Santa
Any naked, hairy, overweight, middle-aged man who dresses up their genitalia like a goddamn Christmas tree.
Did you see that filthy Santa getting all this amorous ttention over at the Jiffy Lube Lounge? I thought they only liked circuit queens over there!

Insect Interval
The time it takes for the flies from Gerlach to find Black Rock City. Usually three to four days.
I thought this was supposed to be lifeless playa! We obviously got here after the insect interval.

That giddy feeling you get just before collapsing from heat exhaustion.
I was taking a walk along the trash fence when all of a sudden I felt like I was going over-the-falls. Good thing that motorized couch came by and picked me up.

The writing of words in urine on the playa. Usually done by males, but can also be performed by extremely talented females.
Next time you need to leave a message for me at camp, please don't write it using pissography. Pen and paper will do just fine, thank you.

Playa Pounder
Your beater bike used to get around Black Rock City.
Look at what all this playa dust did to my gears! Good thing I brought this playa pounder instead of my Nishiki.

Playa Time
The strange bending and folding of time that happens as you start packing your car for the trip and doesn't stop until you get home.
I know we've only been here two days, but playa time makes it feel like a week!

Any ugly, naked asshole who insists on running around nude and being

generally obnoxious, causing all those in view to avert their eyes. Named after Richard Hatch from Survivor.
Everything was going great until Richard over there decided to camp next to us. Now what are we going to do about the kids?

Any non-participatory, spectating, rude, or leering, person in Black Rock City.
I've noticed that there aren't as many yahoos this year, probably because they stopped selling tickets at the gate.

Contrary to "Temporary Autonomous Zone," TAZ really stands for

"Temporarily Annoying Zone" such as the site of Pepe's dreadful opera.
Black Rock City is practically one big huge TAZ this year, what with all the annoying raves and stupid-ass theme camps, not to mention the annoyingly pretentious people.

-- compiled by Bryan Finch, Penfold, and PF

2002 Piss Clear
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